A lot of the time,
Most of the time even,
World war three exists inside of me.
All of the different countries,
With their different opinions:
How things should work,
Who get’s what rights,
How I feel at the time.
Constant battles occur;
Bashing at my brain,
My liver,
My intestines,
Leaving me nothing
But a no-man’s-land
War Zone.
The war has been going for
Years and years and years.
Battles over right and wrong,
Whether to be scared or brave,
Which friend I take with me
To the coveted concert experience.
No alliances are ever made,
And each country, each team
Is well matched.
There is no clear winner, usually.
But a new war mac
She thinks about him too much.
She is not being healthy.
She is not helping her relationship.
In fact the relationship suffers.
Bed.
Sleep.
That's what she must do.
She must stop the images of this boy
Coming into her head.
So eloquent in speech and language.
He is not her boy.
Her boy is good at maths.
This boy is good at English.
He is not like her boy.
And he can cast spells.
He can combine words that work,
Words that she wants to hear.
Her boy does not do well with his words.
He tries to help her with her maths.
But he is not good at helping with maths.
She doesn't want help from her boy.
With her boy she must be pa
Sometimes when I'm sweeping
I feel like more than just dust
Goes into the pan.
The children laughed and talked,
They sang and ate cake,
They opened those brightly wrapped gifts.
Memories were made,
One after another,
Of the place with the colourful wall,
With all the patterns on the walls
That you could climb.
I feel like the memories stay
When the family leaves
And they make new memories
Wherever they go for the rest of the day.
But sometimes when I'm sweeping,
I feel like I am sweeping up
A child's memories,
To make room for the next
Set of memories to come.
And I am sad that I have to treat
Such special moments
With
Sometimes I think I will hate it,
Giving up my own for someone else.
Sometimes I think it's not worth it
To put myself through pain when it's not for me.
Sometimes I just don't want to do it,
I want to keep my comforts close.
But sometimes, on that rare occasion
I remember what sacrifice truly is.
I remember that deep down, fundamentally,
Sacrifice is love.
Sacrifice is compassion.
Sacrifice brings joy to both sides of the equation.
I forget sometimes how important it is
To show love through sacrifice
And to love every moment of it
Because love is all sacrifice really is.
hour zero:
She sits, watching people around her,
Prepares for the journey
Get's comfy,
Takes off shoes and crosses legs.
People talk and laugh
Excited for the trip,
Riding on the big, new plane,
Anticipation for what's ahead.
hour two:
First movies finish.
Pressure change makes everything quiet.
Dinner is finished, tray table folded away,
Cabin lights dimmed,
Time to sleep...
hour six:
Thought turns to dream.
Dream turns to thought.
Awake and asleep merge to one.
Always aching, swelling, feet want to be moved.
hour eight:
More food.
More water.
Time is no more.
She just wants to fill her empty stomach.
And the plane
The bottles cluster on the table,
Smoke billows above the crowd.
Raised voices carry into the night,
Sharing stories, laughing at jokes,
The drunk have a good time,
But the make damned fools of themselves too.
I've been driving for some time now,
Well into the night,
The dark is all encasing,
Inhibiting my sight.
I head towards my destination,
Could be far or could be near,
But the air around is changing,
Gives off a taste of fear.
Outside is also different,
There is a haze of red,
I've no idea what's coming,
But there must be danger ahead.
He sits alone most of the time,
Watches the patterns on the window,
Droplets drag themselves along,
Leaving a trail of themselves
Until there is nothing left to continue.
Sometimes he feels like these drops,
Like he's using his life up
With every step he takes,
Leaving a part of himself behind
That he can never get back.
He wonders when this feeling will stop,
When he will feel whole again,
If he even ever will.
He likes to sit alone most of the time,
But he's mostly just waiting
Until he can start living again.
There's nothing quite like
Looking up
To see where you need to go.
Seeing the rocky path ahead
And knowing it will continue,
Getting steeper as you go,
Up and up you climb,
Muscles straining,
Heavy breathing.
Destinations seem impossible to reach
When they tower so high above.
But when you finally get there,
You look down
And see where you've come from,
Where you've been,
And you can see where you are going.
There is nothing like looking up
And seeing your mountain tower.
Whispers in ears,
Quiet and short,
Some new information,
Now don't tell a soul.
Round and round it goes,
Repeating over and over,
Flying through the mind,
With no foreseeable end.
Dances on lips,
Words have to come out,
But tongues are held
And reputations are saved.
Suddenly bursting
Out of nowhere it springs,
Curious ears will take it away.
No longer keeping a secret.
A lot of the time,
Most of the time even,
World war three exists inside of me.
All of the different countries,
With their different opinions:
How things should work,
Who get’s what rights,
How I feel at the time.
Constant battles occur;
Bashing at my brain,
My liver,
My intestines,
Leaving me nothing
But a no-man’s-land
War Zone.
The war has been going for
Years and years and years.
Battles over right and wrong,
Whether to be scared or brave,
Which friend I take with me
To the coveted concert experience.
No alliances are ever made,
And each country, each team
Is well matched.
There is no clear winner, usually.
But a new war mac
She thinks about him too much.
She is not being healthy.
She is not helping her relationship.
In fact the relationship suffers.
Bed.
Sleep.
That's what she must do.
She must stop the images of this boy
Coming into her head.
So eloquent in speech and language.
He is not her boy.
Her boy is good at maths.
This boy is good at English.
He is not like her boy.
And he can cast spells.
He can combine words that work,
Words that she wants to hear.
Her boy does not do well with his words.
He tries to help her with her maths.
But he is not good at helping with maths.
She doesn't want help from her boy.
With her boy she must be pa
Sometimes when I'm sweeping
I feel like more than just dust
Goes into the pan.
The children laughed and talked,
They sang and ate cake,
They opened those brightly wrapped gifts.
Memories were made,
One after another,
Of the place with the colourful wall,
With all the patterns on the walls
That you could climb.
I feel like the memories stay
When the family leaves
And they make new memories
Wherever they go for the rest of the day.
But sometimes when I'm sweeping,
I feel like I am sweeping up
A child's memories,
To make room for the next
Set of memories to come.
And I am sad that I have to treat
Such special moments
With
Sometimes I think I will hate it,
Giving up my own for someone else.
Sometimes I think it's not worth it
To put myself through pain when it's not for me.
Sometimes I just don't want to do it,
I want to keep my comforts close.
But sometimes, on that rare occasion
I remember what sacrifice truly is.
I remember that deep down, fundamentally,
Sacrifice is love.
Sacrifice is compassion.
Sacrifice brings joy to both sides of the equation.
I forget sometimes how important it is
To show love through sacrifice
And to love every moment of it
Because love is all sacrifice really is.
hour zero:
She sits, watching people around her,
Prepares for the journey
Get's comfy,
Takes off shoes and crosses legs.
People talk and laugh
Excited for the trip,
Riding on the big, new plane,
Anticipation for what's ahead.
hour two:
First movies finish.
Pressure change makes everything quiet.
Dinner is finished, tray table folded away,
Cabin lights dimmed,
Time to sleep...
hour six:
Thought turns to dream.
Dream turns to thought.
Awake and asleep merge to one.
Always aching, swelling, feet want to be moved.
hour eight:
More food.
More water.
Time is no more.
She just wants to fill her empty stomach.
And the plane
The bottles cluster on the table,
Smoke billows above the crowd.
Raised voices carry into the night,
Sharing stories, laughing at jokes,
The drunk have a good time,
But the make damned fools of themselves too.
I've been driving for some time now,
Well into the night,
The dark is all encasing,
Inhibiting my sight.
I head towards my destination,
Could be far or could be near,
But the air around is changing,
Gives off a taste of fear.
Outside is also different,
There is a haze of red,
I've no idea what's coming,
But there must be danger ahead.
He sits alone most of the time,
Watches the patterns on the window,
Droplets drag themselves along,
Leaving a trail of themselves
Until there is nothing left to continue.
Sometimes he feels like these drops,
Like he's using his life up
With every step he takes,
Leaving a part of himself behind
That he can never get back.
He wonders when this feeling will stop,
When he will feel whole again,
If he even ever will.
He likes to sit alone most of the time,
But he's mostly just waiting
Until he can start living again.
There's nothing quite like
Looking up
To see where you need to go.
Seeing the rocky path ahead
And knowing it will continue,
Getting steeper as you go,
Up and up you climb,
Muscles straining,
Heavy breathing.
Destinations seem impossible to reach
When they tower so high above.
But when you finally get there,
You look down
And see where you've come from,
Where you've been,
And you can see where you are going.
There is nothing like looking up
And seeing your mountain tower.
Whispers in ears,
Quiet and short,
Some new information,
Now don't tell a soul.
Round and round it goes,
Repeating over and over,
Flying through the mind,
With no foreseeable end.
Dances on lips,
Words have to come out,
But tongues are held
And reputations are saved.
Suddenly bursting
Out of nowhere it springs,
Curious ears will take it away.
No longer keeping a secret.
Trials and tests,
I must confess,
I don't know if I'll pass.
These things you do,
They're fun and new,
But, oh, you move so fast.
Past action -cause-
And now we pause
To look at the effects,
Last time she burned,
So now she spurns,
His life is now a wreck.
On and on
The cycle goes,
Life after life
And beyond.
Only when one
Becomes aware
Can one see
What's going on.
Choose to stop and you are free,
Unaware, trapped you will be.
Karma, karma everywhere,
Life built upon its rule.
It saves our lives, and kills us dead,
Most of us are it's tool.
The colored glass,
Precariously perched.
All the shades, the aspects of life,
The greens, the blues, purples, yellows and oranges,
Rest on the shoulders of the people,
The surrounding people,
Who are, in part, pieces of glass in themselves,
And are responsible for every little piece,
Until
The glass begins to wobble.
Tips one way, then another,
Until it is too much and begins to fall,
And you watch as your glass tinkers to the ground.
There is nothing you can do.
If you reach out, it will cut you,
But if it falls, you are broken.
For all the aspects, all the shades of life,
That once refracted and reflected the light,
I swear I'm writing way more journals now than I have in the past, which is weird, since now is when I am doing so little writing, or updating of any kind, like photos.
So anyway, have I mentioned how much I hate exams? It's exam week, or actually this is week number 2 of exams, and it will continue until Monday next week for me, because that's how cool I am. So It's Wednesday today, and I have French on Friday, and I really should have been studying today, because I am going to fail the writing portion of the test. That fate has been sealed by the fact that I stayed in my pajamas all day today and didn't do a thing except watch TV. Like 11
I swear I'm writing way more journals now than I have in the past, which is weird, since now is when I am doing so little writing, or updating of any kind, like photos.
So anyway, have I mentioned how much I hate exams? It's exam week, or actually this is week number 2 of exams, and it will continue until Monday next week for me, because that's how cool I am. So It's Wednesday today, and I have French on Friday, and I really should have been studying today, because I am going to fail the writing portion of the test. That fate has been sealed by the fact that I stayed in my pajamas all day today and didn't do a thing except watch TV. Like 11
Awww sorry I'll come back now. I was going to put up some stuff tonight, but then there was computer complications, and long story short it will have to wait because it's bedtime now!